Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I have a distinct memory of sitting around the lunch table at Kriner Diner with you all discussing how it would be when we had children. I mean actual offspring--not just when we would act childish after too much grain alcohol and red punch. It was a happy day dream, all of us riding around in a school bus. Bob Brown would be the bus driver.
Oh, the cold hand of reality has hit. Maizie is 2.5 and all of her friends are stuffed animals. I know, she and Suri Cruise should hang out together. She is at a babysitters twice a week, and has more playdates with other kids when she's there, than when she's with me. I've been reduced to internet 'Play-Dating'. I joined MeetUP.com so I can meet people with kids. Working in theatre, I don't know a whole lot of people with kids. How strange.
I went to my first 'MeetUP'. It's very hard for me to say that and not go into hysterical laughter. It's very wacky to walk up to a stranger's door with your toddler's little hand in yours, and hard not to think-"I wonder if these people are axe murderers. David doesn't know where I was going. How fast can I run carrying a 2.5 year old?".
She was not an axe murderer. The only thing scary was the army of baby toys that beeped, lit up, whistled, sang, and hummed. We are relatively battery free in the toy department--despite the best efforts of Lara & John. It's surreal to be in a room full of these noisemakers. I suppose the up side is, you always know where your kid is, from the amount of automated sounds in the room.
The playdate was going really well, until I saw Maizie start to jump on the big comfy looking sofa. I said in my authoritative Doc Kingsley trained diaphragm dog training style voice, "Maizie, NO." I could see the other mom's mentally putting a check in the negative box of my playdate score card. I didn't scream at my kid, but I wasn't using the 'ducky, bunny, hunny woodums' voice that some prefer. Luckily, I brought brownies, so my membership status wasn't revoked.
I just wish we all lived a little closer so we could all play together.